Category: Parent Talk
Hi, my name is Heather. I am having problems getting my 4 year old completely potty trained. I'd like to get her in school this next year, not to mention the social worker and health nurse thinks she would benefit greatly if she were in school as soon as possible. She knows how to go potty on the big toilet, but most often refuses to go. She gets very defiant. She'd like to go to school and I have told her she can't go unless she uses the potty all of the time and wears big girl panties. I've tried the treat system, putting her in panties to encourage her, taking her every thirty minutes, and sitting with her while she's on the potty. I am sad to say none of this has been successful. If anyone has any suggestions I would really appreciate it. I've tried giving her insentives to get her to want to do it. she'll tell me she will, but then trying to get her to use the potty is a never ending battle. please help. thank you.
She will do it. Some kids won't when they don't have to, but going to school will fix that. Smile.
Being settled helps.
the schools around here won't take her unless she is fully potty trained.
She is. She know's how, and why.
She can and does do it sometimes, so she's trained. She just needs a reason to be consistant, and school will give her that.
but she needs to be consistant before she gets into school or they will kick her out, even being around other kids who do it does not change anything for her. The consistancy has to come before i can sign her up for school.
Have you had her checked out by a doctor to make sure there are no under lying medical reasons for her not going?
Yes, and there is no reason why she shouldn't be going.
Hello Heather, here is a link where you may find some info which could be helpful to you :
http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/child-rearing-and-development/toilet-training/helping-child-who-wont-go
There are more potty training info on that page than you'd care to read...
Good luck, smiles. I have just gone through the stage with my daughter not too long ago, so I feel your pain, lol.
Although she was daytime potty trained by the age of 2, it took me till she was almost 4 before she would give up diaper during night time as well. All just because I've showed her the 3 diapers that was left in the bag and told her that after these were gone, the store does not carie them anymore. On her very last diaper, she did not dirty them and had been completely potty trained since... Wish I've thought of doing this sooner, :P
I love that. Lol I really do. Smile.
Thank you so much for the help. I'll check out that page, and, I never thought of telling her the store doesn't sell the pull-ups anymore. I like that idea. Thanks again and I'll post updates on her progress here.
You can brive her with candy or something that she likes maybe she will like the toilet.
She said she tried bribes and rewards and they didn't work. I don't have kids yet, but I want them someday. This is actually really interesting to read.I babysit my little cousins who are 3 and 4 and the three year old is mostly potty trained and will tell me when she has to go but she still had an accident the other day. Waited too long to go apparently.
Good luck and let us know what is happening with that.
It's really important to wait till they're ready. Some aren't ready till later than maybe you will want. I remember how inconvenient diapers and things can be. That's a long time ago now with the daughter almost 19, but still. The wife works with teenage moms and is always discouraging them from starting too early. She was talking about this the other day and was saying the kids have to know what their body is doing. I know, some of the educator talk is hard for us commoners to understand lol but she explained it saying they don't know how to make themselves pee and poop. There's still this shockingly Victorian notion out there that you're supposed to make the kiddos potty train by 2 or whatever, but honestly it is harder if you start too early.
And dry pants at night always takes longer.
One of her charges' moms tried to start him before she thought it was a good idea, and it was no end of headaches. Another thing she says is about transitions. That's another one of their words lol but basically if a bunch of stuff is going on to interrupt or make things unstable. Maybe she said consistency. Anyway, one of those. So basically in terms the rest of us turds can understand if you're going through any kinds of changes at home, or scheduling changes or any of that, it's not a good time to start the potty training.
Hope you can make sense of some of this and that it helps some. I know, it's odd to think of it as complicated. When I was a young dad I thought all you had to do was pull down their pants, plop them on the pot when they needed to go, then afterwards pick 'em up, wipe the ass, pull up the pants and let the little wigglers run off. Lol obviously there's lots more to it than that, and it was interesting when she was talking about it recently not from a young mom perspective but now from the angle of educator and someone working at a residential facility for moms and their kids.
I've always thought, and sad stability makes the difference in many thing with small ones.
The seem to need sameness, or a safe feeling I would say.